On the other, you may cling to the times your partner is loving and thoughtful, and feel that youre too in love to ever leave. On the one hand, you may fear for your sanity, your sense of identity, and possibly even your life. In the end, it doesn’t matter whether or not your kind of love fits into a certain category. Being in love with your abuser is painful and confusing. Everyone experiences love in a variety of different ways. You need to recognise the mark this relationship left, rather than the. Do you understand what love can do to someone? Maybe you understand or maybe you don’t. But either way, first loves are important because they represent the first time you really loved someone outside your family. First love is always is the first lesson in life about having self respect. Many become jerks cause they want to avenge their heartbreak with the entire humanity. Now that you see how a lovely feeling happens to turn into a group of emotional disasters. Many stay in that pit of depression for years, cause thats what a man is supposed to be, strong and emotionless. Every aspect of my life is disappointing. Every time she comes back, I fall into her arms becoming that delicate little boy that I once was. As much as I want for her to vanish from my life again she just would not go. I for once promise myself that I would not drop another tear. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Then the kids wake up and who knows what the days going to bring. As selfish as this thought process was, at that time, I was trying to nurture both myself and the relationship. I wake up each and every morning next to my beautiful wife and I’m remind why I’m one lucky guy. As a lover, I felt if I could make her feel better about herself love herself then she would treat me better. Now that she is back, it is her who wants for my lips after that one time when our lips met passionately for a first kiss. It was a combination of my love for her and a savior’s complex that kept me with an abusive partner. I’m thankful, in many ways, that I learned enough about myself to know I needed to come out sooner rather than later, that being openly gay was not only an inevitability, but a wonderful thing, that I would not only come out of the closet, but come out of. What she is doing? Where is the love of my life? Because of that, feelings almost vanished along with her but there were still memories hunting me for what I once felt. Kellan was my first true love, and I regret that the gay demon inside me ruined it all.
I was asking myself a lot of unknown questions. I would sit in a room all alone thinking of her. My First Love Essay: My Experience Of Love